


Shortcut To Disaster

by Solena2



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, One Shot, POV Sans (Undertale), POV Sokka (Avatar), Poor Sokka Is Too Scientific For This Magic Skeleton Garbage, This Actually Ended Up Pretty Funny?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27301960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solena2/pseuds/Solena2
Summary: Why did he shortcut while drunk? WHY did he SHORTCUT while DRUNK???Really, Sans only has himself to blame for this.
Relationships: Sokka & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	Shortcut To Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> God, I love writing crack.

There’s a reason Sans drinks ketchup instead of alcohol. 

It should be obvious, right? The defender of the timeline, the one who judged those who could never truly be punished for their sins-

The only one who truly stood a chance against the anomaly, if it came down to it.

Sans was on watch for danger constantly, and he simply couldn’t afford to be impaired.

Of course, that explanation didn’t even touch on all the teleporting. What, you think it’s safe or simple to break the laws of physics not just on objects, but on _yourself_?

One mistake, and he could end up split in half or dumped in a volcano. Or more likely, he could end up somewhere in the vast emptiness of space, which wouldn’t be fun. He didn’t need to breathe, sure, but he’d still starve eventually.

He’d messed up a coordinate calculation once and ended up falling through the barrier. He wasn’t dumb enough to think he’d survive a second fuck-up.

After all, if you wanted an example for how wrong it could go, there was a scientist whose name Sans could only remember on June sixth at six PM. He knew the scientist had been trying to use teleportation to get monsters out of the underground. He knew the scientist had been the underground’s golden boy, once.

The only signs that the guy had ever existed were a few blueprints and a weird look in the kid’s eyes when Alphys said she didn’t ever meet her predecessor.

The worst part of it all was that Sans could think of at least seven ways it could have gone worse.

So he didn’t drink, no. He may be a bit _brainless_ , but he only had a death wish in the _really_ bad timelines. (And he was too busy preserving the chance of his brother coming back in those to take unnecessary risks)

But, well, life never goes how you expect, huh? He knew that better than anyone, in the end.

When he realized someone had spiked his ketchup, all he could summon was amused resignation. Probably didn’t help that he was the equivalent of a few drinks deep when he caught on, either. 

It might have been fine. It wasn’t like he was dumb enough to teleport on _purpose_ while under the influence.

But when Frisk came up to him with _that_ look in their eyes, and tried to poke him? 

Normally he’d just dodge, but distracted and drunk, he went for a shortcut instead, and accidentally input the wrong value for his destination.

It was just one letter off.

An A where he should have put a U, and it all went sideways.

\--

Sokka was having a perfectly normal day. He and Zuko were visiting the western air temple together (long story), without anyone else (longer story).

They were staying for a few days, camping in the same they had when they’d come here the first time. It was pretty nostalgic, honestly.

So he and Zuko were eating dinner, (apparently, even if Zuko sucked at tea, he made a fairly good roast chicken-lemur) and chatting about turtleducks, because apparently he’d tried to kidnap one to present to the fire lord once? Absolutely wild, Sokka was on the edge of his seat.

Just as Zuko was about to explain why lord Ilan ran whenever he saw the fluffy critters, there was a *pop* and-

Was that a _skeleton_? Just, face down on the ground? What was it _wearing_?

Sokka leaned toward it and poked it with a stick. It groaned.

Wait, what?

How did that even _work_? It was a skeleton, it didn’t even have _vocal cords_. Sokka made a vaguely scandalized noise at the blatant disregard of basic logic.

“Are you a spirit?” Zuko asked, voicing more relevant concerns. 

The skeleton peeled its face(?) off the ground, revealing itself to be anatomically incorrect to the extreme. Its head was round, and bigger than that of any human Sokka had ever seen. Its eye sockets were empty pits of darkness with small lights in them, (Which, again, made no sense) and while its mouth was the traditional skeleton grin, it had? Bone cheeks?? _What_???

All of these features combined to create an expression of amused bafflement at the question.

“what’s a spirit?” 

What. What even- who _didn’t know what a spirit was_? If it wasn’t a spirit, what was it? Why was it in their campsite? Did Sokka accidentally drink cactus juice again?

Of all of these perfectly valid questions, the one that emerged from his mouth was “How do you talk without moving your mouth?” 

Zuko facepalmed because Katara wasn’t there and someone had to. The skeleton blinked slowly, and said, “you sound like my dad,”

“Why are you here?” Sokka followed up, finally getting his thoughts together enough to ask a pertinent question.

Their mysterious invader looked around the camp with the same vaguely confused expression, as if they were only just realizing where they were. After a few seconds, their head flopped back onto the ground.

“fuck,” They said tonelessly. “i’m not drunk enough for this,”

Despite the suspicion Sokka felt towards any intruder, he couldn’t help relating to the skeleton on a spiritual level.

**Author's Note:**

> Sokka doesn't know whether skeletons have genders, and like, he's not gonna be RUDE, you know?


End file.
